Let them, then let me — a framework by Ole Wang

Hand-drawn diagram of framework 359, Let them, then let me: Let them. Then let me. — Framework 359 · in one look

How to use it

When someone acts in a way you can't control, say "let them" in your head: their choices are theirs. Then "let me": choose your own response. Your energy goes to the part you control, which was always only you.

How sure we are

E Evidence: built from practice. What works for coaches and practitioners. Labelled that way.

S Evidence: strong. Large trials or many studies, pointing the same way.

Sources

Re-seeing the situation (cognitive change, d = 0.36) and taking the other person's perspective (d = 0.45) regulated emotions better than pushing the feeling away (Webb, Miles & Sheeran 2012, meta-analysis of 306 experiments, 🟢) · "Let Them": Mel Robbins (🟠).

Not medical, legal or financial advice.

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